Dang, I almost forgot to post these goldurned redneck shots I took in the WallyWorld parking lot yesterday:
O, the stories these vehicles could tell... if only they could talk, LOL. That lifted rig is redneck to the bone, gotta love the door... and that ol' bike would be PERFECT for riding to the Stronghold, has my name written all over it, 10-4? I'll buy one like it once I get back to work... and speaking of work, the terminal manager of a trucking outfit wants to hire me as a local driver to haul chemicals to several nearby mines, but those fake charges in Kalifornia are gonna prevent me from tacking the Hazardous endorsement BACK onto my license, go figure. Looks as if I may be working as a WallyWorld cashier here pronto, making a whopping $11 per hour part-time, WOOHOO!!! Meh, WTF, Walmart has A/C, and I'm not getting much response from other companies to which I applied... besides, some bee-yoo-ti-ful Arizona wimmin shop at that store, maybe I can find the woman of my dreams as I sling groceries into friggin' sacks, HOORAY!!! I'll settle for a hot, wealthy heiress willing to cook, clean, do laundry, and scrub quarter-mile-long Alabama skidmarks outta my $h!tter with a goddam toothbrush, LOL.
Maybe I can bag one of those Russian mail-order brides with some o' that big WallyWorld dough... some of those wimmin look pretty good, even if they DO have criminal records as long as my arm, LOL. That whole mail-order bride business is probably a scheme cooked up by the Russian gubmint to deport criminals, the Russkies are laughing all the way to the bank as lonely dumb@$$ Americans (like me) throw down heaps o' coin in desperate attempts to find everlasting love, LOL. Hey, once I choose a Russian gal outta the web catalog, I'll hold an abbreviated wedding ceremony the minute she deplanes:
"WITH THIS $H!TTER BRUSH, I THEE WED... NOW GET TO F#%NG WORK!!!"
Ah, yes, ain't love grand??? Well, guess I should head back to the ol' hacienda and pull some more home rehab, the problem with home rehab work is that it doesn't complete itself... and if ya ever figure out how to make it do this, you'll be an overnight billionaire, no worries. Since we're dwelling in Fantasy Land with this concept, let's tack on a few more:
1) THE GUBMINT SHOULD PAY TAXES TO CITIZENS!!!
2) THE GUBMINT SHOULD DISPENSE FREE BEER ON EVERY STREET CORNER, 24/7/365!!!
3) GOOD-LOOKIN' WIMMIN SHOULD PAY FOR ALL DATES!!!
I could go on here, but why bother? Y'all catch my drift, LOL... now, where was I? Oh, yeah...
"LONGNECK ICE-COLD BEER NEVER BROKE MY HEART!!!"
However, that demon alcohol DID get me in trouble a time or two, and it put me in the doghouse more times than I can possibly remember, LOL. Meh, I'm not about to give up my one & only vice to please ANYONE, even if that means living my life as a desperate & lonely old man, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Good news is: I get to spend my own money, 10-4? No nagging bi-yatch to gripe whenever I stay up till 0400 watching movies CRANKED in my home theater... no bad cooking to eat... no chick flicks to suffer through... what's NOT to like??? Did I mention the part about spending my own money??? LOL.
Y'ALL BE GOOD, I'M OFF TO PULL SOME HOME REHAB... WORK IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL, DON'TCHA KNOW???
CHEERS, YOUSE KNUCKLEHAIDS!!! ER, I MEAN YOUSE MONKEYBIKING HEE-ROES & CRUSTY MINI DEMONS O' DIRT!!!