The Three Amigos... Sage, Dixie & Wingnut!!!

Discussion in 'The Gastank' started by Sidewinder, Mar 11, 2015.

  1. Sidewinder

    Sidewinder Well-Known Member

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    Here we go again... why is my life always such a train wreck??? Looks like the realtor lowballed me on the estimate of my home's current value, which led to a lower price in the initial listing. I had a chance to study the market last night, so that douche has already been fired. This house of mine should be listed at $125K, minimum, not $90K... particularly in this niche market where properties are selling like hotcakes, due to all the "political refugees" streaming out of Kalifornia. Meh, ya can't trust ANYBODY nowadays, and I don't make a good "victim"---I'm not here so some scumbag can make money off MY hard work or MY freakin' back, 10-4??? So I reckon I'll get some more advice from my brother the estate attorney, maybe I'll sling the place myself using a "grant deed" or something like that. :cautious:

    Check this out: some hot chick drove past as I was outside, and we started talking, right? She's up here looking for a home, so I invited her in to show her around... man, this gal is SEXY too, my age or older but still has curves in ALL the right places, 10-4??? A FINE-LOOKING GAL, dressed in jeans, a clingy sweatshirt, and some classic hand-tooled cowboy boots. We went from room to room as I gave her the tour, and it was incredibly romantic... well, at least for me, I was thinking the whole time of how I'd like to... er, never mind. Haven't been beside such an attractive woman in awhile, we had fun laughing in every room, and she sat with me in the leather reclining sofa in the living room as we talked about a wide variety of subjects. :whistle:

    I'll tell ya, Boyz, seeing this good-looking blonde gal pull her denim-clad legs up next to me, well... all I could think of was those same legs going up over my shoulders, minus the denim, of course, LOL. Maybe wrapped around me, 10??? Uh-oh, this is a family website, better think clean thoughts... get this, the gal even rode DIRT BIKES, and she had exquisitely-toned anatomical parts to prove it. She even showed me her full-coverage helmet & riding boots in the back of her SUV when I showed her out... but not before I told her that she was beautiful and kissed her hand in my living room, LOL. A very sexy gal, that's for damned sure, otherwise I wouldn't have hit on her so hard. Meh, it was a nice interlude in a stressful time, and perhaps I'll even wind up selling my house to her, who knows??? :eek:

    SHE TOOK MY NUMBER, AND I CAN'T FORGET HOW MANY TIMES WE STOOD CLOSE TO ONE ANOTHER DURING THE HOME TOUR... BEEN AWHILE SINCE I FELT SUCH ATTRACTION TO A GAL, IT WAS A FUN HALF-HOUR HOME TOUR. (y)

    A FINE-LOOKING GAL WITH SEXY MODEL CURVES IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES, AND SHE RIDES DIRT BIKES TOO... "KEEPER!!!" :cool:

    MAYBE SHE'S RICH AND HER FAMILY OWNS A CHAIN OF LIQUOR STORES, LOL... ;)
     
    #581 Sidewinder, Apr 18, 2018
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  2. Sidewinder

    Sidewinder Well-Known Member

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    I'm off to drink some cold beer and eventually have a bad@$$ steak dinner, CHEERS!!! :whistle:

    BEEN THINKING OF THAT FINE GAL IN STONE-WASHED JEANS & COWBOY BOOTS EVER SINCE SHE LEFT... GOTTA DO SOMETHING TO TAKE MY MIND OFF THAT EXQUISITELY-BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. :confused:
     
    #582 Sidewinder, Apr 18, 2018
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 18, 2018
  3. cjpayne

    cjpayne Well-Known Member

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    Look out SW, those curves may cost you some money.lol
     
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  4. red69

    red69 Well-Known Member

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    Hey SW, did she tell you that she's a widow five times over? Bones can disappear pretty easy in those White Mountains.
     
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  5. Sidewinder

    Sidewinder Well-Known Member

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    Think Katsumoto (?) in "THE LAST SAMURAI"---"Ah, but it would be a good death!!!" :eek:

    LOL... and CJ, the choice curves ALWAYS cost ya money, one way or another. :whistle:

    Meh, it was fun just being with that gal for awhile, she sure was attractive... but that's the story of my life, I always meet the fine ones when my own affairs are in utter chaos. :confused:

    Gotta get cleaned up and run into town today, I feel like talking to the gal (also good-looking) who worked on the title to my home, got a few questions for her... starting with the classic line from that "AIRPLANE" flick:

    "EVER SEEN A GROWN MAN NAKED???" o_O

    LOL... there'll be cops chasing me down the Deuce of Clubs as I make a slow getaway in my p.o.s. Camry. :rolleyes:

    I think I may go out to the forest today and say "Goodbye" to Jingle Belle, my poor little cat who died of some sort of accidental poisoning on MLK Day. I may not get the chance later as I prep to move and sling this forest home of mine. :(

    Poor little Jingles, I still miss her... I think I may try to rehome the other cats before I leave, I was gonna take 'em with me but I got to thinking how much they like it up here, maybe they wouldn't want to live somewhere that has hot & humid weather, plus fleas & ticks and whatnot. There are very few pests of that sort up here, due to the elevation & dry weather, ya know? So I'll give that a shot, even though Sage has been with me forever... it may come to pass that my only choice is to go back out on the road, and there's no way I could take cats with me OTR. I'd miss the little guys, but if they found good homes they'd be happier stayin' up here, I reckon. We'll see what happens... :cautious:

    OKAY, GOTTA GO, SURE IS WINDY UP HERE TODAY, OTHERWISE NOTHIN' BUT SUNNY BLUE SKIES... WISH MY LIFE LOOKED AS BRIGHT, MIGHT AS WELL ENJOY SOME TIME OUTDOORS BEFORE I BAIL OUTTA HERE. :yellow70:
     
  6. cjpayne

    cjpayne Well-Known Member

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    Don't worry about your cats eating while your OTR in Oklahoma, as there are PLENTY of mice around.lol. Frontline works well on the fleas and ticks.
     
  7. Sidewinder

    Sidewinder Well-Known Member

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  8. Sidewinder

    Sidewinder Well-Known Member

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    Is it fake news or is it real? 4 dead in a Waffle House shooting? Is NOTHING sacred anymore??? When I was living on the road and having a grand adventure, I used to love hittin' that place after a night of partying... good ol' greasy American food with plenty of starch and fat to soak up the alcohol in your system, 10-4? I'd usually hit that joint in the wee hours, and my favorites were always the Double Plate and the Hash Browns loaded with everything... omelet plates too if it was almost dawn, and always a big glass of milk to wash down my meal. Sometimes I'd go in there hungry enough to demolish a Double Plate AND a loaded Hash Browns plate... I was younger and more active then, so I could really put away the food, I don't eat anywhere near as much food nowadays. :unsure:

    I always liked feeding quarters into the jukebox and hearing classic tunes while I ate: Johnny Cash, Patsy Cline, Merle Haggard, Willie Nelson, sometimes old rock'n'roll from AC/DC or The Mighty Zep, LOL. I must have eaten there countless times, and some of those joints had good cooks who could really turn out a delicious double cheeseburger and a plate of hash browns loaded with everything. Usually when you were drunk you just crammed food down your throat without tasting it, but it was different at the Waffle House, you could savor your food as you listened to tunes from the jukebox, and nobody cared how you looked or how you were dressed... it was an "elegant dining experience." If that news blurb is real, I guess times have changed and bullets have been added to the menu... :confused:

    I MISS THE GOOD OL' DAYS, THAT'S FOR GOLDURNED SURE... SHOOTING UP A WAFFLE HOUSE, JEEZ, WHAT'S THE WORLD COMIN' TO NOWADAYS??? o_O
     
  9. red69

    red69 Well-Known Member

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    Waffle House! (y)(y)(y)(y)(y)

    29 year old with AR-15 (n)(n)(n)(n)(n)
     
  10. Sidewinder

    Sidewinder Well-Known Member

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    Pics of an apple tree out front:

    IMG_2838.JPG IMG_2834.JPG IMG_2835.JPG IMG_2836.JPG IMG_2837.JPG

    Tree puts out little green apples, maybe they're crab apples, I dunno... sure is pretty in bloom though, beautiful day here.
     
  11. Sidewinder

    Sidewinder Well-Known Member

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    Another day of checking listings... my home will be among them shortly, no need to check it, LOL. I was just reminiscing about my trucking daze, back when I was hauling hazardous waste, including Class 3 Flammable Liquids. I wasn't a "tanker yanker" (as such drivers are called), I hauled drums of liquids which were palletized and loaded aboard a 53' lease wagon. Still dangerous, but with a lower center of gravity compared to those fuel tankers. One day on the road, I found myself running with another hand whose brother used to be a tanker yanker, pulling a big ol' fuel tanker full of gasoline, and this hand's brother used to refer to that job as "RIDING THE BOMB." I thought that phrase was hilarious, and trust a truck driver to come up with the truest and most accurate description of that task. When ya get right down to it, who else is better qualified to provide a description? Some schmuck in an office, or the hand actually riding the freakin' bomb??? o_O

    Yesiree, those fuel tankers are gnarly, only a complete moron would ever mess with one... maybe a terrorist would, which is just one more concern for tanker yankers hauling gasoline. Some oversized rigs can be intimidating to drivers who share the streets & highways, but the gasoline tanker, well, that's the KING OF THE ROAD, BOYZ... anybody with an ounce of common sense gives every gas tanker a wide berth, and rightfully so. Oversized rigs too, there are safe ways to pass an oversized rig on the road: get out and be seen in the driver's mirrors, wait for an open straightaway rather than trying to pass on a curve or a bridge, and smoothly accelerate past when the opportunity arises. Same for passing a fuel tanker, really, or any other placarded vehicle... last thing ya wanna do is tailgate, or come screamin' up behind the rig and suddenly swerve into view as ya try to blow past at high speed. Truck drivers don't like surprises, I guarantee it... :confused:

    Now, some oversized rigs are so LARGE that they require trooper escorts as well as pilot vehicles, but these rigs block the entire interstate so other drivers have no choice but to follow behind for awhile. Many of these oversized rigs are WAY TOO BIG to fit under highway bridges, so they have to take each exit and roll across the top, 10-4? It's a big logistical nightmare, planning the move of such a rolling roadblock... I've seen some rigs which were HUGE, with a hundred wheels on multiple axles, and half a factory riding atop the whole shebang. State troopers out front and rear to keep any overzealous or impatient four-wheelers from trying to pass... pilot vehicles too, as they are required by law. With lesser oversized rigs, I'd always show courtesy and let the driver know I was about to pass, as it's a good idea and increases safety all around. Those oversized rig drivers were always on the CB radio, you understand... :cautious:

    Anyway, I was just trippin' on that whole scene as I took a stroll down memory lane... I saw some interesting rigs while I was driving, that's for sure. Lots of heavy machinery, factory components, one ginormous metal box which looked like some sort of secret gubmint project, you name it... and of course a $h!tload of houses and manufactured or modular homes. It's kinda weird, sitting near an intersection with a cop parked across your hood, everyone watching an actual stick-built house rolling through at low speed, LOL. Meh, good time to grab a juice or soda out of your cooler, maybe a little beef jerky out of the cubby hole above the driver's seat. Yeah, those were some interesting rigs, but WTF, trucking is what makes this country go round, wouldn't be the same without it. I may never drive a rig again, no telling right now, but I'm glad I went when I did and saw so much cool stuff, ya know??? :whistle: :cool: :whistle:

    WELL, I'D BETTER GET STARTED ON THE LISTINGS CHECK, I JUST WANTED TO SHARE THAT LINE WITH Y'ALL ABOUT "RIDING THE BOMB"---REMINDS ME OF SLIM PICKENS, LOL. :eek:
     
  12. Sidewinder

    Sidewinder Well-Known Member

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    Siesta time yesterday afternoon:

    IMG_2845.JPG IMG_2847.JPG IMG_2849.JPG
     
  13. Sidewinder

    Sidewinder Well-Known Member

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    CRACKERHEAD COCKTAIL RECIPE:

    7 parts booze (the entire bottle)

    2 parts criminal feline insanity

    1 part sheer feline audacity

    And you guessed it: SHAKEN, NOT STIRRED. :cautious: :cool: :cautious:

    Feed to already-jacked-up cat via beer bong (full suit of armor recommended), then lay back and enjoy the show, LOL. :eek: o_O :eek:

    P.S. Home insurance is a good idea PRIOR to dosing the cat... :whistle: :confused: :whistle:
     
  14. Sidewinder

    Sidewinder Well-Known Member

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    Stumbled upon a couple videos today:





    In that second video, the dude belly-flopping from height into the shallow inflatable pool gets my vote for MOST RADICAL & STYLISH JUMPER, LOL... :eek:

    Dude must have been HAMMERED to even attempt such crazy foolishness, 10-4??? o_O

    CHEERS, YOUSE KNUCKLEHAIDS!!! I'M STILL DEALING WITH A PARADE OF LOOKIE-LOOS DRIVING BY TO SUSS OUT THE PROPERTY... :cautious:

    AFTER BEING LOWBALLED ON THE ESTIMATED VALUE BY THE SCUMBAG REALTOR, I TURNED DOWN THE $90K CASH OFFER AND JACKED THE PRICE TO $120K... :confused:

    WTF, I DO EVERYTHING BACKWARDS... MIGHT AS WELL INCLUDE THE PROPERTY SALE, AYE??? :whistle:

    P.S. Who has that skydiving line as a signature? Cornish Rooster, right? Well, CR, that first video is for you, LOL. Looks like the dude had a slim cable harness to clip to the nearest skydiver as the ground approached. :cool:

    That second video with the two skydivers jumping off that tower in Dubai is pretty cool, I guess that thing is half a mile high... I like the way they twirl around for a bit, diving straight down head first, LOL. (y)

    And that Swiss dude leaping into the punchbowl at the base of that waterfall, that guy is CERTIFIABLY INSANE, YEAH??? Not something I'd do unless my life depended on it... :rolleyes:

    The KRAZY KIDS leaping off the falls near Lake Havasu and those quarry cliffs, well, those are just kids having fun... we dove off sea cliffs in the past, and it's a tricky venture, that final foot placement is all-important to success. :barefoot:

    I'M OFF TO CAUSE TROUBLE ELSEWHERE, ENJOY THE VIDEOS WHEN YA GETS THE CHANCE... :geek:
     
  15. Sidewinder

    Sidewinder Well-Known Member

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    Kittehs liked these videos... what do they hafta do with monkeybiking??? Meh, youse hee-roes will figure it out, LOL:







    ADIOS, FU#%TARDS... ER, I MEAN YOUSE MONKEYBIKING HEE-ROES, LOL. CHEERS, YA FOOLIOTS!!! :eek: :cautious: :eek:
     
  16. Sidewinder

    Sidewinder Well-Known Member

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    Me dear departed mum played violin for Tommy Dorsey many years ago, and she taught us to appreciate a wide range of musical styles or genres. This song has always been my favorite, just because it has so much soul. If someone were to tell me: "YOU'LL BE SHOT IN FIVE MINUTES... PICK A TUNE!!!"---well, THIS would be the tune I picked, despite all the classical works and other good tunes out there. And when the song ended, I'd tell the guy: "LET'S GET ON WITH IT, WE'RE BURNIN' DAYLIGHT HERE!!!" That way, I wouldn't have to sit around for over a minute-and-a-half, waiting for a bullet... LOL. :confused:



    P.S. The kittehs also like this tune, LOL. (y)
     
  17. Sidewinder

    Sidewinder Well-Known Member

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    Ever since I drop-kicked that one douche off my property, I've been getting heller spam on my computer... I think the jackhole sent my e-mail address to countless ad agencies, right? I'm actually going to close that account and open another with a new address, but I'm thinking I'd better wait till AFTER the home sale, 10-4? So I'm deleting 40 or 50 spam e-mails at a time, something like 100-150 a day. Meh, soon it'll be a thing of the past, but I just wanted to make an observation this afternoon... :cautious:

    Ya see, Boyz, I lost my youthful charm awhile back---it fell off a truck about a million miles ago---yet with the advent of all this spam e-mail, dozens of gorgeous and hot, horny wimmin wanna hook up with me. Could it be, has a MIRACLE actually happened? Have I somehow regained my youthful charm? I know my wallet is still thin, so THAT can't be it... of course, I did turn down an offer for $100K on the house, I'm holding out for $110K so I can pay off the scumbag realtor and still slope outta here with at least $100K. :whistle:

    I'm just wondering if some modern-day miracle has occurred, and once again wimmin find me attractive... is it possible for a tired old man to regain the looks and charm of his youth? Did the "ugly pills" wear off, OR WHAT??? And damned if these half-naked wimmin aren't attractive themselves, each one seems so honest & sincere... I'm ready to impart all personal info, SSN, bank account & pin numbers, etc., to each and every gal, so help me God. Maybe I can marry 'em all over the Internet, this being Mormon Country, whaddya thank??? :eek:

    JUST THOUGHT I'D SHARE THOSE SENTIMENTS WITH MY "GOOD INTERNET FRIENDS" AT LILHONDA.COM... REGULAR HEROES, YOUSE MONKEYBIKING FOOLIOTS & CRUSTY MINI DEMONS O' DIRT!!! :yellow70: :red70: :yellow70:
     
  18. racerx

    racerx Administrator
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    Almost makes you yearn for those innocent days of yore, when Nigerian royalty...who, somehow, were incapable of correctly spelling "Nigerian royalty"...went begging to share millions of dollars.o_O
     
  19. Sidewinder

    Sidewinder Well-Known Member

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    Nigerian royalty, LOL... I met one or two of those rarities online, or maybe it was over the phone, I can't remember. :confused:

    Just had an afterthought: When I marry every last one of those hot, horny wimmin in true Mormon fashion (over the Internet, times have changed), I'll sign over half my property to each gal, that way a MASSIVE DEBT CLUSTERF#% will develop when things fall apart and I'm repeatedly kicked to the curb, WOOHOO!!! :whistle:

    SHEEEEEE-IT, BOYZ, I'LL SOON RACK UP ENOUGH DEBT TO MAKE THE GUBMINT LOOK LIKE A BUNCH O' PIKERS!!! :eek:

    THE FRIGGIN' AMATEURS, LOL... NOW, WHERE'S MY WALLET AND THOSE PESKY BANK CARDS??? ;)
     
  20. cjpayne

    cjpayne Well-Known Member

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